Purpose of Human Life

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.

Suddenly the speaker stopped and started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.

Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the the person whose name was written on it.

Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began - Exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.

And this is the Purpose of Human Life

Let go of Your Stresses

A Psychologist walked around a room while teaching Stress Management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this Glass of Water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm.
If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed.

In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “the Stresses and Worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

Punctuation is Powerful

An English Professor wrote the words...

"a woman without her man is nothing"

...on the whiteboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the Males in the Class wrote:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All of the Females in the Class wrote:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is Powerful.

Alphabets, which Sound as Words

Alphabets, which Sound as Words are as follows:

B	Bee
C	Sea/See
G	Zee
I	Eye
Q	Queue
R	Are/Or
S	Yes
T	Tea
U	You
Y	Why

END is not the END

End is not the end, in fact

E.N.D is "Effort Never Dies"

and if You get NO in an Answer,

then remember NO is "Next Opportunity".

Always be Positive.

Cool Insulting Lines 04

# Do You practice being this ugly?

# I've seen people like You, but I had to pay admission!

# I know You're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

# I don't know what makes You so stupid, but it really works.

# I know You were born silly, but why did You have a relapse?

# I can't seem to remember Your name, and please don't help Me!

# I know You're a self-made Man. It's nice of You to take the blame!

# Why are You so stupid today? Anyway, I think that's very typical of You.

# I don't even like the people You're trying to imitate, if You are at all.

# I don't know who You are, but whatever You are, I'm sure everyone will agree with Me.

Cool Insulting Lines 03

# Don't think, it may sprain Your brain!

# He has a mind like a steel trap-always closed!

# He is always lost in thought-it's unfamiliar territory.

# Don't You love nature, despite what it did to You?

# Keep talking, someday You'll say something intelligent!

# He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

# He is known as a miracle comic. If he's funny, it's a miracle!

# Fellows like You don't grow from trees; they swing from them.

# Don't get insulted, but is Your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

# He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.

# You are a man of the world and You know what sad shape the world is in.

The Four Wives

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart.

The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.

Cool Insulting lines 02

# If I had a Face like Yours. I'd Sue My Parents!

# Don't feel Bad. A lot of People have no Talent!

# Careful now, don't let Your Brains go to Your Head!

# Did your Parents ever ask You to run away from Home?

# As an Outsider, What do You think of the Human Race?

# I like You. People say I've no taste, but I like You.

# Are You always So Stupid or Is Today a Special Occasion?

# Any Similarity between You and a Human is Purely Coincidental!

# Brains aren't Everything. In fact, in Your case they're Nothing.

# I'd like to Kick You in the Teeth, but Why should I Improve Your Looks?

# At least there's one thing Good about Your Body. It isn't as Ugly as Your Face!

How to Explain Marketing Concepts

Professor explaining Marketing Concepts to the Students:-

1. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a Party. You go up to Her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!"

- That's "Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a Party with a bunch of friends and See a Gorgeous Girl. One of Your Friends goes up to Her and pointing at You says: "He's very rich. "Marry Him."

-That's "Advertising"

3. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a Party. You go up to Her and get Her Telephone Number. The next day, You call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me!"

- That's "Telemarketing"

4. You're at a Party and see Gorgeous Girl. You get up and straighten Your Tie, You walk up to Her and pour Her a drink, You open the door (of the car) for Her, pick up Her bag after She drops it, offer Her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?"

- That's "Public Relations"

5. You're at a Party and see Gorgeous Girl. She walks up to You and says:"You are very rich! "Can You Marry Me?"

- That's "Brand Recognition"

6. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a Party. You go up to Her and say: "I am very rich. Marry Me!" She gives you a nice hard Slap on Your Face.

- That's "Customer Feedback"

7. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a Party. You go up to Her and say: "I am very rich. Marry Me!" And She introduces You to Her Husband.

- That's "Demand and Supply Gap"

8. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a Party. You go up to Her and before You say anything, another Person comes and tell Her: "I'm rich. Will You Marry Me?" and She goes with him.

-That's "Competition Eating into Your Market Share"

9. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a Party. You go up to Her and before You say: "I'm rich, Marry Me!" Your Wife Arrives.

- That's "Restriction for Entering New Markets"

Cool Insulting Lines 01

# Hi! I'm a Human Being! What are You?

# He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?

# How would You like to feel the way You look?

# He is living proof that Man can live Without a Brain!

# How did You get here? Did someone leave Your cage open?

# How come You're here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!

# I don't want You to turn the other cheek; it's just as ugly.

# How much refund do you expect on Your head now that it's empty.

# He is so short, when it rains He is always the last one to know.

# He is the kind of a Man that You would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

# I can't talk to You right now; tell Me, where will You be in the next 10 Years?

Cool Calculation

1 x 8 + 1 = 9;

12 x 8 + 2 = 98;

123 x 8 + 3 = 987;

1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876;

12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765;

123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654;

1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543;

12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432;

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321.

Life's Truisms

* Worrying does not take away tomorrow's Troubles; it takes away today’s Peace.

* Friendship is like a Book. It takes few Seconds to Burn, but it takes Years to Write.

* A Blindperson asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything Worse than losing Eye Sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing Your Vision."

* When God solves Your Problems, You have faith in His Abilities; when God doesn't Solve Your Problems He has Faith in Your Abilities.

* Often when We lose hope and think this is the End, God smiles from above and says, "Relax, Sweetheart, it's just a Bend, not the End!

* Prayer is not a "Spare Wheel" that You pull out when in Trouble; it is a "Steering Wheel" that directs us in the Right Path throughout life.

* All things in Life are temporary. If going well enjoy it, they will not Last Forever. If going Wrong don’t worry, they can't Last Long either.

* When You pray for Others, God listens to You and blesses them; and sometimes,when You are Safe and Happy, remember that Someone has prayed for You.

* Old Friends are like Gold! New friends are Diamonds! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, You always need a base of Gold!

* Do You know why a Car's Windshield is so large and the rear view Mirror is so small? Because our Past is not as important as our Future. So, look Ahead and move on.

God has Something Great for Us

Once there was a small girl. One fine day she got to know that God is distributing apples to all human in heaven. She was so happy to receive the news. She went merrily to heaven to receive an apple from God. On reaching heaven, she saw a big queue of people awaiting their turn to receive apples from God. She also joined the queue.

The little girl was joyful because she was going to receive an apple from God. Finally it was her turn to receive an apple and she stretched out her hand in anticipation. God gave the girl an apple. However, her tiny hands were unable to hold the apple and it fell down. The girl felt disappointed as she would then be expected to wait in the queue once again to receive the gift of an apple. As she did not want to go back empty handed, she turned around and joined the long queue once again. This time the queue was longer than the previous time. Waiting in the queue she watched people who had received their apples and were leaving the place happily. She wondered as to why only she could not get a grip on the apple God tried to place in her hands. She was worried for she should not lose the apple once more. Finally once again it was her turn to receive the apple

God spoke to her, “My dear child, last time after giving you the apple, I observed that the apple was a rotten one and therefore, I made you drop it. Having realised this, I wanted you to have the best apple of all. At that time, the best apple was still growing on the tree and so I made you wait for a long time. Here is the apple for you, the very best available. Enjoy it!”

Sometimes we put in our best efforts in doing our tasks. However the outcome is delayed or contrary to our expectations. Remember always that God has something great in store for us and therefore, the delay. 

Success

Be~~~~~~~~> Confident

Work~~~~~~> Hard

Plan~~~~~~> Perfect

Dream~~~~~> More

Think~~~~~> High

Excuse~~~~> All

Choose~~~~> Best

Analyse~~~> Twice

Then, Success is Ur's Life.

Confusing Maths?

Let, A=B

Then,

AB=BxB

AB-AxA=BxB-AxA

A[B-A]=[B+A][B-A]

A=B+A

Let, A=1

Therefore, Result: 1=2

Who said English is Easy?

Fill in the blank with YES or No.

1. _____, I don't have Brain.

2. _____, I don't have Sense.

3. _____, I am Stupid.

Why English Is So Difficult

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

The Corporate Language

* "We will do it" means "You will do it"

* "All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

* "We are a team" means "I am not the only one to be blamed"

* "You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

* "There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

* "We had slight differences of opinion" means "We had actually fought"

* "We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

* "That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

* "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

* "We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"

* "We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"

* "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done..At least not tomorrow !".

* "After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

* "You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

* "Well.. family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected" means "Well you know.."

* "Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

* "We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

Grandpa's Letter

One day, a young man was cleaning out his late grandfather’s belongings when he came across a bright red envelope. Written on the front were the words, “To my grandson.” Recognizing his grandfather’s handwriting, the boy opened the envelope. A letter inside read:

Dear Ronny,

Years ago you came to me for help. You said, “Grandpa, how is it that you’ve accomplished so much in your life? You’re still full of energy, and I’m already tired of struggling. How can I get that same enthusiasm that you’ve got?”

I didn’t know what to say to you then. But knowing my days are numbered, I figure that I owe you an answer. So here is what I believe.

I think a lot of it has to do with how a person looks at things. I call it ‘keeping your eyes wide open.’

First, realize that life is filled with surprises, but many are good ones. If you don’t keep watching for them, you’ll miss half the excitement. Expect to be thrilled once in a while, and you will be.

When you meet up with challenges, welcome them. They’ll leave you wiser, stronger, and more capable than you were the day before. When you make a mistake, be grateful for the things it taught you. Resolve to use that lesson to help you reach your goals.

And always follow the rules. Even the little ones. When you follow the rules, life works. If you think you ever really get by with breaking the rules, you’re only fooling yourself.

It’s also important to decide exactly what you want. Then keep your mind focused on it, and be prepared to receive it.

But be ready to end up in some new places too. As you grow with the years, you’ll be given bigger shoes to fill. So be ready for endings as well as challenging beginnings.

Sometimes we have to be brave enough to move from the familiar to the unfamiliar. Life isn’t just reaching peaks. Part of it is moving from one peak to the next. If you rest too long in between, you might be tempted to quit. Leave the past in the past. Climb the next mountain and enjoy the view.

Dump things that weigh you down emotionally and spiritually. When an old resentment, belief, or attitude becomes heavy, lighten your load. Shed those hurtful attitudes that slow you down and drain your energy.

Remember that your choices will create your successes and your failures. So consider all the pathways ahead, and decide which ones to follow. Then believe in yourself, get up, and get going.

And be sure to take breaks once in a while. They’ll give you a renewed commitment to your dreams and a cheerful, healthy perception of the things that matter the most to you.

Most important of all, never give up on yourself. The person that ends up a winner is the one who resolves to win. Give life everything you’ve got, and life will give its best back to you.

Love always,
Grandpa