India Concluded

  • After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year,
    Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating
    back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their
    ancestors already had a telephone network
    one thousand years ago.



    So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 meters and the headlines in the US papers read: US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians.




    One week later, Indian daily newspapers reported the following: After digging as deep as 500 meters, Indian scientists have found absolutely nothing.
    They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using Bluetooth and Wireless technology.


    A Clevered Daughter


  • Many years ago in a small Indian village,

    A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village Moneylender.

    The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter.

    So he proposed a bargain.

    He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

    So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.

    He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag.

    Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.

    1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

    2) If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

    3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

    They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.

    He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.

    Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl?

    If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?

    Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

    1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

    2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.

    3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

    Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.

    The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking.

    Think of the consequences if she chooses

    The above logical answers.


    What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

    Well, here is what she did ....

    The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

    "Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."

    Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

    MORAL OF THE STORY:
    Most complex problems do have a solution.
    It is only that we don't Attempt to think.

    Thity Nine Interesting Facts

  • 1. California has issued at least 6 drivers licenses to people named Jesus Christ.

    2. Kangaroos can not walk backwards.

    3. 'Jedi' is an official religion, with over 70,000 followers, in Australia.

    4. Avocados have more protein than any other fruit.

    5. Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life.

    6. Nachos is the food most craved by pregnant women.

    7. Each year, 24,000 Americans are bitten by rats!

    8. Most dreams last only 5 to 20 minutes.

    9. The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking.

    10. On average, the life span of an American dollar bill is eighteen months.

    11. Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

    12. The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com.

    13. Americans collectively eat one hundred pounds of chocolate every second.

    14. U.S. President Calvin Coolidge liked to eat breakfast while having his head rubbed with Vaseline.

    15. When a giraffe's baby is born it falls from a height of six feet, normally without being hurt.

    16. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

    17. The creator of the NIKE Swoosh symbol was paid only $35 for the design.

    18. How does a shark find fish? It can hear their hearts beating.

    19. Penguins can convert salt water into fresh water.

    20. In ten minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined!

    21. The IRS employees tax manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.

    22. During WWII, because a lot of players were called to duty, the Pittsburgh Steelers and Philadelphia Eagles combined to become The Steagles.

    23. Nearly 22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong account over the next hour.

    24. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

    25. There are more fatal car accidents in July than any other month.

    26. There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.

    27. More than 2 million documents will be lost by the IRS this year.

    28. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

    29. Washington, D.C. has one lawyer for every 19 residents!

    30. According to a recent survey, more than half of British adults have had sex in a public place!

    31. The average car produces a pound of pollution every 25 miles!

    32. Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

    33. In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die!

    34. The most powerful electric eel is found in the rivers of Brazil, Columbia, Venezuela, and Peru, and produces a shock of 400-650 volts.

    35. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

    36. Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.

    37. You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.

    38. Half of all identity thieves are either relatives, friends, or neighbors of their victims.

    39. One in three male motorists picks their nose while driving.

    The Donkey

  • The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

    The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

    The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

    The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

    The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

    This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
    The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

    The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline:
    NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .

    The Bishop fainted.

    He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

    The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

    This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

    The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

    Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.

    Moral:
    Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life.

    Love Talking Between Husband and Wife

  • Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

    So I'd be in your hands all day.

    Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one everyday.

    ***************************************************************************

    Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

    Wife: When must I give them to him?

    Doctor: They are for you.

    ***************************************************************************

    Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

    Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

    ***************************************************************************

    Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So, I bought 3 movie tickets.

    Wife: Why Three?

    Husband: For you and your parents.

    ***************************************************************************

    Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

    Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

    ***************************************************************************

    Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

    A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again.

    ***************************************************************************

    After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, You know, I was a fool when I married you.

    The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.

    ***************************************************************************

    Everything Happens for a Reason


  • Once two friends planned to build a house for them. They arranged for finance etc and made it.

    Their new house was beautifully finished.

    They fixed up a date for the “NEW HOUSE FUNCTION /CEREMONY”.

    All arrangements were on and they were excited as they approached the day.

    The day just before the ceremony, a terrible shock was awaiting all. The house caught fire and entirely damaged.

    The people of the village approached one among the friends to say that bad news.

    “Your house destroyed in fire “Screamed the people. The person got shocked and instantly died on the spot.

    The people were curious to see what would happen to the other one.

    They rushed up to him. This time they added much shock and terribleness and informed him that his house got fired and everything has destroyed. Before they were about to inform his friend’s death he rushed to the stall near by and returned there.

    To everyone’s surprise he distributed sweets to all happily. People decided to take up an admission for him in the mental hospital nearby. They tried to put him down the happiness and asked him the reason for distributing sweets.

    He replied, had the house caught fire a day late! I would be no more alive.

    God loves me and have saved me.

    “Everything happens but for a reason”

    Laws that Newton forgot to tell

  • LAW OF BREAD:
    When the buttered slice of bread falls it always fall on the buttered side.

    LAW OF QUEUE:
    If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one
    you are in now.

    LAW OF TELEPHONE:
    When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

    LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

    LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    LAW OF THE ALIBI:
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre,
    the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

    BATH THEOREM:
    When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone
    you don't want to be seen with.

    LAW OF THE RESULT:
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

    LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    THEATRE RULE:
    People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    LAW OF COFFEE:
    As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
    which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Breathing Exercise to get Rid of Head Ache


  • The nose has a left and a right side; we use both to inhale and exhale.

    Actually they are different; you would be able to feel the difference.

    The right side represents the sun, left side represents the moon.

    During a headache, try to close your right nose and use your left nose to breathe.

    In about 5 mins, your headache will go.

    If you feel tired, just reverse, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose.
    After a while, you will feel your mind is refreshed.

    Right side belongs to 'hot', so it gets heated up easily, left side belongs to 'cold'.

    Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get "cooled off" faster.

    Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up.

    Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or right? ?

    If left is faster, you will feel tired.
    So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will get refreshed quickly.

    This can be taught to kids, but it is more effective when practiced by adults.

    My friend used to have bad headaches and was always visiting the doctor.

    There was this period when he suffered headache literally every night, unable to study.

    He took painkillers, did not work.

    He decided to try out the breathing therapy here: closed his right nose and breathed
    through his left nose.

    In less than a week, his headaches were gone! He continued the exercise for one month.

    This alternative natural therapy without medication is something that he has experienced.
    So, why not give it a try?

    Husband and Wife Jokes

  • Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

    It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!

    Wife: No darling, it means,

    With Idiot For Ever

    *****************************************************

    Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

    So I'd be in your hands all day.

    Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

    So I could have a new one everyday.

    *****************************************************

    Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace.
    Here are some sleeping Pills.

    Wife: When must I give them to him?

    Doctor: They are for you.

    *****************************************************

    Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

    So I bought 3 movie tickets.

    Wife: Why Three?

    Husband: For you and your parents

    *****************************************************

    Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

    Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

    *****************************************************

    Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

    A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

    *****************************************************

    After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

    You know, I was a fool when I married you.

    The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.

    *****************************************************

    Make a Difference

  • Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing.

    He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

    One day, he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer.

    He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

    As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

    As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"

    The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean."

    "I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"

    "The sun is up, and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

    "But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and
    starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

    The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked another starfish and
    threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."

    Moral:
    Each of us can make a difference to this world.
    Everybody is useful and it is just the matter of whether You want
    to make a difference.

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