Why English Is So Difficult

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Maths Miracle

111/(1+1+1) = 37

222/(2+2+2) = 37

333/(3+3+3) = 37

444/(4+4+4) = 37

555/(5+5+5) = 37

666/(6+6+6) = 37

777/(7+7+7) = 37

888/(8+8+8) = 37

999/(9+9+9) = 37

The Corporate Language

* "We will do it" means "You will do it"

* "All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

* "We are a team" means "I am not the only one to be blamed"

* "You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

* "There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

* "We had slight differences of opinion" means "We had actually fought"

* "We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

* "That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

* "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

* "We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"

* "We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"

* "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done..At least not tomorrow !".

* "After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

* "You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

* "Well.. family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected" means "Well you know.."

* "Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

* "We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

Interesting Confusions 03

* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

* Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

* Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

* If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

* Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

* Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

* Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Difference between a Girl and a Boy

Girl: Which Computer do You have?

Boy : I have a Computer with Intel Core xx Processor at x.x ghz, Windows x, xx bit, x gb ram and nvidia xxx Graphics card.


Boy : Which Computer do You have?

Girl: A Black One !!

Nine Strange Things

~-> The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

 

~-> Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

~-> The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

~-> A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

~-> A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

~-> There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.

~-> Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

~-> Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

~-> The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.

Leo Buscaglia's Quote

Our Talents are the Gift that

God Gives to Us..

What We Make of Our Talents is

Our Gift Back to God.

~ Leo Buscaglia

The Fox and the Grapes

One afternoon a fox was walking through the forest and spotted a bunch of grapes hanging from over a lofty branch.

"Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoted the fox.

Taking a few steps back, the fox jumped and just missed the hanging grapes.

Again the fox took a few paces back and tried to reach them but still failed.

Finally, giving up, the fox turned up his nose and said,

"They're probably sour anyway," and proceeded to walk away.

Moral:

It's easy to despise what you cannot have.

Cross Bridge Puzzle

There are Four(4) Women who want to cross a bridge.

They all begin on the same side.

You have 17 minutes to get all of them across to the other side.

It is night. There is one flashlight.

A maximum of two people can cross at one time.

Any party who crosses, either 1 or 2 people, must have the flashlight with them. The flashlight must be walked back and forth, it cannot be thrown, etc.

Each woman walks at a different speed.

A pair must walk together at the rate of the slower woman's pace.

Woman 1: 1 minute to cross

Woman 2: 2 minutes to cross

Woman 3: 5 minutes to cross

Woman 4: 10 minutes to cross

For example, if Woman 1 and Woman 4 walk across first, 10 minutes have elapsed when they get to the other side of the bridge. If Woman 4 then returns with the flashlight, a total of 20 minutes have passed and you have failed the mission.

What is the order required to get all women across in 17 minutes? Now, what's the Other Way?

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Answer:

Woman 1 and Woman 2 go and Woman 1 comes back.
Total Time Taken= 3 Minutes.

Then, Woman 3 and Woman 4 go and Woman 2 comes back.
Total Time Taken= 12 Minutes.

Lastly Woman 1 and Woman 2 go.
Total Time Taken= 2 Minutes.

Grand Total Time Taken to Cross a Bridge= 3+12+2= 17 Minutes.

The Goose that laid the Golden Eggs

Once upon a time, a man and his wife had the good fortune to have a goose which laid a golden egg every day. Lucky though they were, they soon began to think they were not getting rich fast enough.

They imagined that if the bird must be able to lay golden eggs, its insides must be made of gold. And they thought that if they could get all that precious metal at once, they would get mighty rich very soon. So the man and his wife decided to kill the bird.

However, upon cutting the goose open, they were shocked to find that its innards were like that of any other goose!

Moral: Think before You Act